tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475072522970419212024-03-20T08:02:04.074+00:00SHOCKTOBERFESTOne man, vainly assuming you give a rat's ass about his obsession with reviewing Horror movies every October...Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.comBlogger140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-64849867526556644802021-10-02T20:59:00.001+01:002021-10-12T21:41:20.049+01:00Psycho II<p><span style="font-size: x-small;">For my return after a 3-year absence from blogging, I decided to select this year's movies by dice roll. 2 24 sided dice were thrown to choose a Style of Horror-movie, and a "scare" type. This is adapted from an idea shamelessly stolen from <a href="http://www.nightvalepresents.com/rnghpn9" target="_blank">Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number 9</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">For today's movie, I threw a 16 for <b>Sequel</b>, and a 24 for <b>Psychopath</b>.</span></p>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">22 Years after his killing spree Norman Bates is released from the Asylum, a cured man. Moving back into his home at the motel, Norman takes a job at a local diner, where he befriends young waitress Mary, and offers her a place to stay following the breakup of her boyfriend. </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq">But Norman starts getting worrying notes and phone-calls; it seems that "Mother" is back...</blockquote>
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I've seen <i>Psycho</i> (obviously) and back in my teenage VHS rental days I saw <i>Psycho IV: The Beginning</i> (I worked my way through my local video shop's entire horror section - including sequels to movies they didn't stock, and I hadn't seen. Although part 4 requires no knowledge whatsoever of parts 2 and 3, it was still fun to go back and fill in a gap in my Psycho knowledge. <div><br /></div><div>While not a suspense movie in the same way as the 1960 classic, the movie still holds it's own in the directorial stakes, and it's perhaps no shock that director Richard Franklin was a student and friend of Hitchcock's.</div><div><br /></div><div>The resolution of the film's central mystery is a little info-dumpy, and the very end feels a little as though it was written a little later than the rest of the script, serving both to bring things full-circle, while also leaving the door open for further entries.</div><div><br /></div><div>Mention must be made of Jerry Goldsmith's superb score, which perfectly evokes the truly classic score of the first movie, and really helps Psycho II feel like a true part of Norman's world, rather than a cash-grab. (fun titbit; mirroring the relationship of Franklin and Hitchcock, Goldsmith was a friend of <i>Psycho</i> composer Bernard Herrmann).</div><div><br /></div><div>For a sequel I'm sure that no one asked for (especially not 22 years after the fact) it's a pleasant surprise to be able to say that<i> Psycho II</i> is a worthy successor to Hitchcock's classic.</div>Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-43929694890927710772021-10-01T19:40:00.001+01:002021-10-12T20:58:11.601+01:00Monster Squad (1987)<p><span style="font-size: x-small;">For my return after a 3-year absence from blogging, I decided to select this year's movies by dice roll. 2 24 sided dice were thrown to choose a Style of Horror-movie, and a "scare" type. This is adapted from an idea shamelessly stolen from <a href="http://www.nightvalepresents.com/rnghpn9" target="_blank">Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number 9</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">For today's movie, I threw a 5 for <b>PG/PG-13</b>, and a 2 for <b>Werewolf</b></span></p><hr />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">For one day every 100 years, a long-forgotten and usually indestructible amulet, capable of banishing Evil from the world, becomes venerable. </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq">That day is fast approaching, and Dracula has put together a band of monsters (Himself, The Mummy, The Wolfman, Gillman, and Frankenstein's Creature) to seek and destroy The Amulet. </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq">Unfortunately for the monsters, a group of horror-movie loving kids have just got hold of Van Helsing's diary, and learned of the amulet themselves... and now find themselves standing against the forces of evil.<span> </span><span> </span> </blockquote><p> </p><hr />
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I know I saw this years ago, probably not long after release, but literally all I remember from that viewing is "Wolfman got 'nards", and that I enjoyed it.<div><br /></div><div>Revisiting the movie around 30 years later, I can easily see why young-me loved it. I always tell people that I was weaned straight from my mother's breast onto Hammer and Universal horror movies, and although this isn't officially a Universal Monster's movie, the line up is 100% Universal Monster's... right down to (unnamed on screen) Gillman aka. "the Creature From The Black Lagoon", who unlike the rest of the antagonist's troupe cant even claim to be based off of a public domain creation. </div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of Gillman; The creature design on him is superb! </div><div><br /></div><div>Story wise, there's a fair bit going on for a kid's movie, with flashbacks to 100 years ago, the tried-and-true kid's fantasy trope of "kids know more than adults, but no one will listen", and the neighbour "scary German guy" has a tragic past (only touched on, as it may be a bit heavy for a children's movie, but certainly a good conversation starter for any parent looking for a teachable moment).</div><div><br /></div><div>Is it a great movie? not really... the coincidences flow thick and fast, with much of the plot being a little too convenient to be credible, but it is a good movie, and especially one for those of you with younglings you wish to indoctrinate to the world of horror.</div>Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-3638075839679339652016-10-15T20:51:00.000+01:002016-10-19T20:59:01.965+01:00Piranha 3D (AKA "Piranha") (2010)<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
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Just in time for spring break, an under water earthquake connects a popular lake to an underground body of water filled with prehistoric flesh eating piranhas, releasing them to gnaw a bloody swathe through the hordes of reveling college kids.</blockquote>
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A loose remake of 1978's <i>Piranha</i>, this 3D update has its tongue firmly in its cheek, delivering gore and boobs in roughly equal measures. <br /><br />In many ways, it's desperation to get boobs in the mix is a shame; while the gore is entertaining, and the OTT everything else is fun, the movie grinds to a halt when the filmmakers have to wedge in an underwater naked lesbian make-out session. <br /><br />That said, for the most part the nudity is handled with the same sense of irony as near everything else in the movie, and as such manages not to be too annoying. <br /><br />(Side note; I don't object to boobs per se, in fact I'm rather fond of them... I just don't appreciate titillation in my general entertainment - it just makes a movie awkward to watch with company). <br /><br />The version I got was on 2 DVDs - one 2D and one in anaglyph (Red / Blue) 3D (with, bizarrely, 2 pairs of <i>The Final Destination </i>3D glasses) while this method doesn't need a special TV, it freaky isn't suited to colour (particularly in a blood soaked horror movie) as it works by blocking each eye from receiving certain colours; the effect can never be great when only one eye can see the blood! <br /><br />Truth be told by the time the movies while reason to exist (an hilarious massacre at about the one hour mark) rolled around I ended up swapping discs and watching in 2D. <br /><br />If you do have a 3D TV though, and want to splash out for the movie on blue ray, bear in mind that it's a conversion, rather than being actually filmed in 3D; as such only the digital effects (which appear to have been rendered for both eyes) really work. <br /><br />Awkward soft porn and crappy 3D aside though, I really enjoyed the movie. It's a good solid, silly, creature feature, with plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, and Christopher Lloyd (albeit in a small roll). What's not to enjoy‽ </blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-19744061903516260532016-10-13T22:10:00.000+01:002016-10-17T22:11:20.322+01:00Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
When most of the worlds population suddenly disappears, the few survivors are plagued by a living darkness which takes any human it touches.</blockquote>
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I'd never even heard of this until i saw its trailer before <a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/possession-2009.html" target="_blank">yesterdays movie</a>, so its perhaps fitting that it went on to confirm a point I made in that review. Yesterday I was forced to concede that a movie can be artistically average, so long as there is a good enough story to keep you hooked; <i>Vanishing</i> inverts this, by looking fantastic, but suffering on the story front.</div>
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The premise is a great one, and visually it's pulled off to perfection; sadly it's a premise which doesn't extend well into a full length movie.</div>
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The first 15 mins or so are superb, as a movie projectionist suddenly finds himself alone in a theater which was crowded moments earlier, but after that it dries up badly, as our small group of survivors spend the next hour alternately bickering, or else facing the same set-piece of moving shadows,</div>
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As a half hour short it could have been worth while, but even at that it would have needed a much better ending to have been something special; lacking a twist or punchline which would have fit its Twilight-Zone-esq mood, the film simple peters out like so many of the bulbs which kept out heroes safe.</div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-73797854752644816092016-10-12T21:36:00.000+01:002016-10-16T21:38:39.290+01:00Possession (2009)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A driven lawyer, Jess (Sarah Michelle Geller), lives a near-perfect life with her doting husband Ryan; the one thorn in their relationship comes in the shape of Ryan's violent and moody brother, Roman, who currently lives with them. </blockquote>
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The two brothers are involved in a head on crash, and both end up in comas.</blockquote>
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Eventually, Roman wakes up... but he swears he is actually Ryan, even remembering things that only Jess and her husband could know.</blockquote>
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Sometimes a good clever plot, particularly a mystery, is enough to make a film well worth your time, while it remains average in all other respects; This remake of South Korean film <i>Addicted</i> (which I have not seen) is one such movie.<br />
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While there's nothing actually wrong with any aspect of the movie, there's nothing really to set it apart from any other modern thriller either; the sets all do their job, the film is well lit, it looks fine, the sound design is unobtrusive, the cast serviceable, there's nothing in the way of gore, or even scares... it's all as good as it needs to be, but really no better.<br />
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Thankfully, the story was sufficiently interesting to keep me watching.<br />
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There are a couple more tags I should really add to the movie, but to do so would give too much away, so with a plot I cant really discuss, and other aspects of the film leaving me with little to praise or insult, I'm left with little to do but tell you that this one actually is, despite what sounds like my lack of enthusiasm, absolutely worth your time.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-55289678901085810552016-10-11T23:27:00.000+01:002016-10-15T23:29:03.690+01:00The Shining (1980)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A family move to an hotel on a mountain for the winter, so that Jack, the father, a frustrated writer, can work as caretaker while the snow cuts the hotel off from the outside world for the season.<br />As Jack descends into alcoholism and insanity, the hotel's decedent and sordid past is reaching out to him.</blockquote>
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Reviewed for Horror Movie a Week, <a href="http://horrormovieaweek.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/the-shining-1980-wills-review.html" target="_blank">here</a>Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-13666275344898051812016-10-10T23:03:00.000+01:002016-10-15T23:04:29.134+01:00Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A young girl is sent to live with her father and his girlfriend in the mansion they are renovating for a client. In the basement, locked in an old ash pit, the girl finds a group of small creatures.</blockquote>
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Setting them free was a mistake...</blockquote>
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I first saw the 1973 TV movie "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" when I was very young and loved it... Why it's taken this long for me to get around to the remake, I have no idea.</div>
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<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillermo_del_Toro" target="_blank">Guillermo del Totro</a>'s production fingerprint (he also co-wrote) is all over it; It's incredibly atmospheric, and a lot of the mansion (or at least the parts relating to the creatures) have a nature-inspired look reminiscent of tree-roots or vines; in other words it looks very "Pans Labyrinth" at times. </div>
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The Pans Labyrinth feel continues into the films biggest change, the protagonist; an adult woman in the original, Sally is here a child... something which ultimately the film suffers for. When an adult claims to see goblins, people assume shes having a breakdown; when a child claims the same thing, they assume she's either lying, or simply has an over active imagination... we also know that a movie is far less likely to kill a child, so I never really found myself fearing for Sally's well being.</div>
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Another, frankly baffling given the title, change is that in the original the creatures could only come out in the dark; in this version they seemingly have no problem facing lights.</div>
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The acting is solid (especially from the always reliable Guy Pearce) and the film looks great; the creature design is great, and the mansion provides a great backdrop.</div>
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For all it's slick production though, it fails to be as creepy as a 40 year old low budget TV movie... stick with the original.</div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-44347818312267288532016-10-08T21:25:00.000+01:002016-10-13T21:56:21.874+01:00The Haunted Pumpkin of Sleepy Hollow (2003)<div>
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In the town of Sleepy Hollow, Washington Irving's original manuscript for The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow is stolen from the museum; in the chase, the burglars hide the manuscript in a wild growing pumpkin. <br />
Meanwhile Nick Crane (a descendent of the man Irving's hero is based on) and his friend Kate are planning a haunted house attraction for their school.... And they just happen to pick the same pumpkin.<br />
To make matters worse, on Halloween Eve, all ghosts may roam the earth... Including the headless horseman... and the pumpkin just happens to be a magical one; one that will allow the horseman to become flesh if he places it in his head at exactly midnight.<br />
Assisted by the ghost of a civil war hero, Nick and Kate must keep the pumpkin away from not only the horseman, but also the bumbling burglars. </blockquote>
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The plot may be convoluted, but this 2003 TV special is actually a lot of fun. </div>
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There's nothing here that stands out as remarkable, but it's solid enough, and reminds me of the Saturday morning cartoons I used to watch as a kid. The only real negative are the musical numbers, which go on too long, and don't advance the plot; they're just cutaway music videos. That said, the movie's main theme is surprisingly catchy. </div>
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There's not a lot here for adults, hence the short review, but I would definitely recommend this to anyone with children. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-82289286675414890172016-10-07T21:51:00.000+01:002016-10-15T21:51:11.627+01:00Manborg (2011)<div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Years after the last battle of the Hell Wars, in which the armies of earth fell against the nazi-cyborg-demon armies of Hell, a fallen human soldier wakes as a cyborg. </span><br />
Captured by the demons, he and the gang of resistance fighters he is imprisoned with may together be one last hope for humanity... if they can survive futuristic gladiatorial combat in the arena know as The Terrorocticon. </blockquote>
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At just an hour long, Manborg is the perfect length; the filmmakers made absolutely the right choice; rather than kill time with an half hour of filler just to get up to feature length, they've kept every second of screen time frantic; something which helps gloss over what would traditionally be seen as the films many flaws, by never really giving you time to care about them. </div>
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It's not often that a film can set out to be a good bad-movie and succeed; and while Manborg is at times a little too self aware, it's so much damn fun that it really doesn't matter; even the film's ridiculously open ending manages to be amusing rather than frustrating. </div>
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Full review exclusively at the Cinphilliacs <a href="https://thecinephiliacs.wordpress.com/2016/10/14/manborg-2011-review/" target="_blank">HERE</a>. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-75252340752686602232016-10-06T22:44:00.000+01:002016-10-12T22:18:32.321+01:00Bugs Bunny's Howl-oween Special (1977)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Speedy Gonzalez, and Sylvester and Tweety Pie, have run-ins with Witch Hazel, Haunted Hotels, and a certain Dr. Jykle and his famous potion. </blockquote>
<br /><a name='more'></a><br />I love<i> Loony Tunes</i>, but so how I've never seen this, nor indeed knew of its existence, so I was looking forward to a half hour of spooky new material from Bugs and the gang. <br /><br />Sadly, new material is VERY thin on the ground. <br /><br />Culled from bits and pieces of a hand full of <i>Loony Tunes</i> shorts from originally released 1954-1966, the only new material is an odd second here and there inserted to try and mould the different scenes into a cohesive single entity, with varying degrees of success. <br /><br />The most blatant (but also smoothest) of these transitions happens when Bugs give Witch Hazel some of the Hyde potion and, thanks to a brief new shot, she inexplicably turns not into a large beastly version of herself (as has everyone who has taken it up until this point) but instead into a Dracula-esq vampire... allowing a scene from Transylvania 6-5000 (which, as you may have guessed, features a vampire) to be used. <br /><br />The pick-and-mix nature of the special doesn't work at all; most of the shorts feel empty as they aren't presented in full, and the linking device is so poor that taken as a new piece the special makes no real sense from one second to the next. <br /><br />Yes, it's aimed at young children... but it's appallingly lazy, and they'd be far better served to watch the separate 'toons in their entirety. <br />
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<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014, I took a part time job at Poundland.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-63808027773157778272016-10-05T23:43:00.000+01:002016-10-09T23:49:59.926+01:00Shadow: Dead Riot (2006)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Sentenced to death by lethal injection, serial killer and rapist Shadow (Horror icon <i>Tony "Candyman" Todd</i>) prepares himself by sharpening his teeth, and carving arcane symbols into his body. During his execution there is a riot, and the bodies of all the inmates killed that day are thrown into a mass grave on the prison grounds.<br />
<br />
20 years later the prison is now a private one used to house female inmates, and run a shady research program.<br />
<br />
Shortly after the arrival of tough new inmate Solitaire, blood is accidentally spilled on the mass grave... and Shadow's curse is finally complete. </blockquote>
<hr />
<br />
Prologue aside, the movie's first act is every inch the women's-prison exploitation movie, complete with an unnecessary and gratuitous group-shower scene, cat-fights, a (male) prison doctor who obtains drugs for the inmates in exchange for 'favours', and a (female) guard who coerces prisoners into sexual relations in exchange for protection - something which the governess apparently knows about and is disapproving of... but not disapproving enough to start disciplinary procedures of any kind.<br />
<br />
I saw quite enough women-in-prison movies when I was watching the Video Nasties list, and I'm not a fan; coupled with the lousy production, lazy writing, and sub-par acting, I was more than ready to hate this movie. <br />
<br />
But at around the half way point, something changes; when the ridiculously bad mutant-baby, and army of zombies shows up, and the details of the research program become clear, things go so batshit crazy that the shoddy production (right down to Tony Todd's laughable dreadlocks), Halloween-outfit grade costumes, and film-school special effect become part of the fun.<br />
<br />
By the final act, when the film finally becomes the over-the-top kung-fu women vs zombies movie you never knew you needed, my disdain had completely dissipated. <br />
<br />
Yes, it's badly made, terribly scripted, and just out right stupid; but if you can ride out the uncomfortable exploitation of the first half hour or so, and look past the over-lit and over-saturated look captured so poorly on consumer grade digital video, it becomes just the right kind of batshit crazy shitty-movie... and you'll have a riot. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-32063558284028459862016-10-04T23:17:00.000+01:002016-10-09T05:18:11.416+01:00Pathology (2008)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A medical student, Teddy (Heroes' Milo Ventimiglia) is accepted onto the nations leading forensic pathology program.<br /> <br />He is quickly inducted into a secret society of some of the class' leading students; a society who exist to test their skills with a game.<br /> <br />The game is simple; each member, in turn, tries to create the perfect, untraceable, murder; Then they put it into practice, and the other players must try to determine a cause of death. </blockquote>
<div>
<br />
<hr />
<a name='more'></a><br />
It's an interesting idea, and initially the concept is well implemented; but once the students are revealed not to preform the "game" autopsies in class, rather secretly in a disused hospital basement, I was left with more questions than answers as plot-hole after plot-hole appeared, turning an otherwise watchable movie into a cinematic colander. Not just logistics plot holes; some parts of the movie (most especially, but not only, the climax) relied of characters suddenly behaving either drastically different to the person we have seen so far in the movie, or just not how human being react period. <br />
<br />
There's also the problem of the way assholes in the secrete society are portrayed; The film-makers have fallen into the trap of over-egging how bad they are as people. It isn't enough that they murder people for sport to satisfy an intellectual curiosity; they also have to be unfaithful in love, sexual deviants, who bully their class mates and smoke crack.<br />
<br />
It looks good, with some blue colour-correction making the hospital interiors look nicely foreboding, and the acting is for the most part not terrible, and if you can over-look the plot holes and clichés it's a reasonable way to kill some time... but it's far too problematic to slap a "recommend" on. <br />
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
</div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-38576756807751703902016-10-03T22:34:00.000+01:002016-10-06T22:40:42.446+01:00 Lizzie Borden Took an Axe (2014) <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In 1892, Lizzie Borden came across the axe-murdered bodies of her parents. <br />
The only suspect is Lizzie herself. </blockquote>
<hr />
<a name='more'></a>For the third time in as many reviews, I've used the "Not Horror" tag; I feel kind of wired doing that on a horror-movie review blog, but the movies do centre around horror tropes; <a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/harold-going-stiff-2011.html" target="_blank">Harold's Going Stiff</a> had "zombies", <a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/ghostbusters-2016.html" target="_blank">Ghostbusters</a> is about... well... ghosts, and this one has axe murderer. <br />
<br />
In the case of this movie though, I really came close to stopping the DVD and picking another film, not because it's terrible (although spoiler; it isn't great) but because it's for the most part a courtroom drama, with a smattering of police-procedural drama.<br />
<br />
<br />
A period drama with a modern sensibility (and soundtrack) I really feel that somewhere buried deep inside this one is a great Lizzie Borden movie; if it had been just a little more knowing, and handled its own version of events in a more entertaining fashion (here the presumed truth about the killings is revealed basically as an infodump) it could have been a darkly funny, and captivating, movie. <br />
<br />
<br />
Instead, it screams "TV movie" (which is forgotten it was until watching it forced me to remember) as loudly as anything I've ever seen. <br />
<br />
<br />
It's crushingly average, and utterly lacking in any kind of charm or whimsy, and it's all the more frustrating for the fact that you can see the charm and whimsey they aiming for, and it is <i>just</i> out of reach. <br />
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-46371385948327220922016-10-02T12:50:00.000+01:002016-10-05T12:51:16.055+01:00Ghostbusters (2016)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A group of paranormal investigators in New York finally get proof of the existence of ghosts, and develop technology to fight and capture them... just as ghost activity is reaching massive proportions. They set up in business as ghost-removers for hire, but soon find themselves facing a threat to the entire city. </blockquote>
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<a name='more'></a>It's almost impossible for someone of my age to give <i>Ghostbusters (2016)</i> a fair review; the 1984 original is a bonafide classic, and I've been a HUGE fan since I saw it in the cinema, and as a kid I watched it so much I wore out 2 VHS copies (and made good headway into a third). <br /><br />Because of this, every time I try and write a paragraph about this new version, I find myself typing "this time around..." or "in this version...", and comparing any film to one I love as much as <i>Ghostbusters (1984)</i> simply isn't fair; it's never going to do well. <br /><br />And here's the thing; while watching the movie (rather than reviewing it) I didn't find myself comparing it. I used to watch the cartoon series religiously, without comparing it to the movie; and that took massive liberties with the exact same characters; that was great, and if it hadn't been great it wouldn't have ruined the movie... the movie would still be sat right there on a battered and worn VHS tape waiting for me.<br /><br />To deal as briefly as possible with the comparison, no, this movie is not a patch on the original. It was never going to be. The original was lightning in a bottle, and even the original cast and crew couldn't recaptured it (see <i>Ghostbusters 2</i>). <br /><br />Think of the last 10 movies you enjoyed (not the last 10 you saw; The last 10 that honestly entertained you). How many of them do you think will be celebrated 3 decades later? How many of them can you even remember now?<br /><br />Not every movie has to be a future classic... even if it has a familiar name. <br /><br />So, accepting that this new take on the concept isn't going to rape your childhood or erase the original from existence, is it any good?<br /><br />I'm pleased to say that it is! <br /><br /><div>
As you might expect, given everything I've said about forcing comparisons, it's at its weakest when it goes out of it's way to remind you of the original, through cameos or location nods; But when it's doing its own thing, and being it's own movie, it's a good time. <br /><br />The gadgets are for the most part excellent, the script and story are fun, the cast are on point, and it looks fantatic, at times being a cartoon made life (to risk comparison, this would have made an excellent movie spin-off of the animated show). <br /><br />Leave your expectations at the door and you are in for a fun ride. <br /><br />Oh, and if any of your objections are to do with the gender of the cast, I can't even be bothered to explain what's wrong with you; go fuck yourself. </div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-60709412801488899062016-10-01T11:30:00.000+01:002016-10-06T13:03:57.315+01:00Harold's Going Stiff (2011)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A new disease, Onset Rigours Disease, is spreading across England. Seemingly affecting only males, in its early stages joints begin to stiffen; as the disease progresses confusion sets in, followed by facial lesions and a total loss of personality, joins by violent outbursts. Unsurprisingly the disease becomes knows as "Zombification", and groups of vigilantes form to protect their communities from the threat, or perceived threat, these "zombies" offer.<br />
<br />
The documentary style movie follows Harold Gimble, the first (and slowest progressing) sufferer of ORD, and Penny, a nurse sent to help him as his joints stiffen, and he faces a decline into a state many feel may be worse than death. </blockquote>
<hr />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>For one reason or another I've fallen out of the habit of reviewing movies... in fact I haven't reviewed anything since my last review for this very blog almost a year ago, and I decided that the Halloween build-up would be a perfect time to "get back on the horse". I decided to break myself back in easily, and chose a horror comedy. <br />
<br />
As you may have gathered from my own synopsis above, this was not the movie I expected it to be. <br />
<br />
<div>
A touching film about friendship, illness, and fear, Harold isn't without its funny moments - most notably some The Office style awkwardness, but the DVD packaging's promise of a full-on comedy in the style of Sean of the Dead does the movie no favours at all; by sending me in expecting to have my ribs tickled, rather than my heart strings plucked, I spent the first half of the movie resenting it for what it wasn't, rather than enjoying it for what it was. <br />
<br />
If you go in expecting action, gore, and belly laughs, prepare to be disappointed; but go in expecting a movie about the human condition, and you're in for a low budget gem. <br />
<br />
The full version of this review will be published exclusively at <i>The Cinephiliacs</i>. <a href="https://thecinephiliacs.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/harolds-going-stiff-2011-review/" target="_blank">Here </a><br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014, I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-52225953417754240162015-10-24T23:17:00.001+01:002015-10-24T23:17:54.078+01:00Devil (2010)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<hr />
According to legend, the Devil from time-to-time takes on human form, gathering a group of people he wishes to torment, trapping them, and hiding amongst them, posing as one of them.<br />
Stranded in a broken down elevator, 5 strangers are about to find out that some legends are true...<br />
<hr />
</blockquote>
<br />
I do love a claustrophobic film, and 5 people in an elevator certainly delivers on that front; combined with the idea that one of their ever decreasing number is a killer (Satan himself, no less) there's no shortage of tension, and the movie does a great job of keeping you guessing, right down to the end. As with all good whodunnits, you'll suspect each and every cast member at some point or another in the movies runtime.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
To keep things from getting tedious, and to remove unanswered questions about how someone can spend any amount of time killing people in an elevator in a modern building without a rescue being launched, the film also checks in regularly with the building's staff, and the police officer running the investigation.<br />
<br />
Fault wise, there's a couple of things that stop this movie being an instant classic; cellphones (as is so often the case in horror movies) would solve one of the major problems facing our group in a heartbeat, so having them show up late in the film (to be used only as torches) really grated on me; also, early scenes set up Detective Bowden (our man on the outside) as a hell of a detective; solving in seconds a reasonably complex case of a seemingly impossible suicide, and it's a shame that his intuition never really comes into play again... Not a plot hole as such, but a wasted opportunity.<br />
<br />
The movie's (lack of) budget is apparent, particularly in some run-of-the-mill performances, and a religious security guard who happens to be the one man on earth who's mother was obsessed with the legend of the devil trapping the damned to torment them on earth is a little too convenient and exposition-y.<br />
<br />
All that said, it's a fun movie which will keep you guessing for an hour and a half, and not leave you feeling disappointed, or that you gave wasted your time.<br />
<br />
Worth a watch if you come across it for free or cheap, I'm glad I saw this movie, but I wouldn't recommend you go out of your way to track it down.Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-80123592685730742752015-10-23T22:49:00.000+01:002015-10-23T22:49:08.259+01:00Psycho (1960)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<hr />
Desperate to get some cash together so she can finally be with her fiancé, secretary Marion Crane makes off with €40,000 of her companies money.<br />
Taking back roads to avoid the police, she winds up at a run-down and near deserted motel, run by Norman Bates a quiet, slightly odd, man who lives under the thumb of his supposedly feeble mother.<br />
Norman takes an instant shine to Marion; but mother senses trouble... Women always bring trouble...<br />
<hr />
</blockquote>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
Psycho is a true classic; it elevated the already lofty position Hitchcock held as a respected director, to that of one of the best the world had ever seen. It also nearly bankrupted him; the studio had no faith in the movie and he remortgaged his house to self-fund, he also invented the advertised start-time. It sounds like the worst-possible way to see a film but, until Psycho, it was common practice to pay to see a movie, walk in half-way through, then wait for it to loop back around and leave when you got to the bit where you came-in! In order to protect the films twists and turns, Hitch' insisted that no one be admitted once the film had begun, and in doing so invented queueing at the movies!<br />
<br />
And it was absolutely the right call; the absolute best way to see Psycho is to go in cold; sadly it's become so well known that it's almost impossible to do so.<br />
<br />
But if you are one of those lucky people who knows nothing about Psycho save the plot outline above, stop what you are doing and run (don't walk) to get a copy. Turn down the lights and prepare to be amazed.<br />
<br />
If, like most of the rest of humanity, you have seen Psycho, or had it ruined by its 3 sequels, or the TV series, or just pop-culture in general, head over to <a href="http://horrormovieaweek.blogspot.com/2015/10/psycho-1960-wills-review.html">Horror Movie A Week</a> for a slightly fuller rundown of my thoughts.<br />
<br />
But seriously; if you are in that lucky few, see it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW before someone ruins it for you!<br />
<br />Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-86020630804952931022015-10-20T23:09:00.004+01:002016-10-03T11:37:46.101+01:00Halloween (1978)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<hr />
On Halloween 1963, 6-year old Michael Myers stabbed and brutally murdered his older sister.<br />
15 years later, Michael escapes the asylum... and he's coming home.<br />
<hr />
</blockquote>
<br />
First of all, sorry for the lack of reviews so far trhis year; Imma try to mack up for that now, starting with a long overdue review for Horror Movie A Week, which can be found <a href="http://horrormovieaweek.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/halloween-1978-wills-review.html">here.</a><br />
<br />
<br />Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-2409133708942667252014-10-29T00:12:00.000+00:002014-10-29T20:49:04.768+00:00Scared Shrekless (2010)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Fed up with the Ogres never being scared of anything, the rest of the Far Far Away gang challenge Shrek to a scary-story contest, with the last to flee in terror being crowned The King Of Halloween.</blockquote>
<hr />
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Much to my surprise, Mike Myers does indeed reprise his roll as Shrek for this special; Eddie Murphy does not return as Donkey, although Dean Edwards' Murphy impression is spot on, and you'd never know.<br />
<br />
Another surprise, is that rather than being in its own little bubble universe, Scared Shrekless does actually take place in the movie series continuity (after Shrek Forever After). While having seen the 4th movie isn't essential, events from it are referenced in the wraparound segments.<br />
<br />
The first story, <i>Bride of Gingey</i>, is by far the best. After being dumped by his girlfriend, the Gingerbread Man goes to see the Muffin Man to have him bake a perfect woman for him. After a fun bit of business choosing his ideal cookie cutter, we're treated to a "creation scene" with lots of very smart little nods to James Whales' two Universal Frankenstein movies. There's nothing to be lost here if you don't know those movies backwards, but there's more to enjoy if you do, and I have to say I was impressed at the detail of references to 80 year old movies in a throwaway kids' special.<br />
<br />
Possibly due to Gingey's insistence that The Muffin Man use more sugar than the recipe calls for, his new lady friend comes out way more clingy than he wanted. The story manages to trow in some Night of the Living Dead references, and even a blink and you'll miss it visual callback to The Evil Dead.<br />
<br />
Best of all, the back end of the segment has some genuinely slightly disturbing moments, and I can honestly imagine younger kids watching through closed fingers!<br />
<br />
<i>Boot's Motel</i>, despite having the best title of the three segments, is the weakest; Puss in Boots and Donky improvise a story about a visit to a motel, and things constant,y change as the two try to outdo each other. The concept is funny and they do, of course, slide in some Psycho references, but the references are a little on-the nose, and not nearly as impressive as those in the previous story. I guess to a child it might be a funny sketch, but it fails as a story, and in no scarier than an average episode of Tom and Jerry.<br />
<br />
Finally, <i>The Shreksorcist</i> sees Shrek, as a babysitter for hire, called to look after a possessed boy, played by Pinocchio.<br />
<br />
This third segment is neither as funny as the second, nor as clever as the first, and frankly falls a little flat.<br />
<br />
If all three segments had been as good as the first, I'd be giving this a very enthusiastic "recommended". As it stands, if you can pick it up for a quid or two, pick it up for a tiny person in your life and give it look over their head while they watch it.<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZIbHKKXz-BE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-22797892519517075462014-10-27T20:33:00.000+00:002014-10-29T20:34:42.637+00:00Crocodile (2000)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
8 teenagers take a spring break boat trip, where the local legend of “Flat Dog”, a giant crocodile who supposedly once lived in the areas’ lakes and swamps, may not be as mythical as people assume. Messing with the large eggs the group find, turns out to be a really bad idea…</blockquote>
<hr />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Although the movie mostly has the feel of a current ‘teens in trouble’ movie, there’s some little spark, some undefinable something, that gives the movie what can best be described as an 80’s undercurrent.<br />
<br />
A genuinely fun (but not fun<i>ny</i>), well made monster movie.<br />
<br />
FULL REVIEW EXCLUSIVELY ON THE CINEPHILAICS <a href="http://thecinephiliacs.wordpress.com/2014/10/28/crocodile-2000-review/" target="_blank">HERE</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Dlp87zSBAZg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-45955500706382952802014-10-26T23:59:00.000+00:002014-10-29T20:49:33.961+00:00Berevement (2010)<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Minersville, Pennsylvania, 1989; Martin Bristol, a young boy with Congenital Analgesia (a condition which prevents him feeling pain) is kidnapped from outside his home by psychotic maniac, Graham. For the next 5 years, Martin is forced to help Graham around the house, and watch as he tortures and kills women he kidnaps and brings back to the run-down meat packing plant he calls home.<br />In 1994, Following the death of her parents, Alison moves in with her overprotective Uncle and his family in Minersville. While out running, she becomes curious when she sees the now 11 year old Martin watching her from the derelict building.</i></blockquote>
<hr />
<a name='more'></a>There's very little going on storywise in Bereavement... It's very much a "capture, kill, repeat" affair within the slaughterhouse, while elsewhere Alison forms a relationship with a young man she meets on one of her jogs, and her uncle disapproves.<br />
<br />
During the torturing the women, Graham likes to cut Martin to freak them out, so there's a strong implication that the child was chosen because of his Analgesia. The killers other big quirk (besides the whole 'kidnap an murder' thing) is constantly arguing with, justifying himself to, or taking orders from, a wall mounted bull skull. He also babbles quasi-religious nonsense a lot of the time.<br />
<br />
In fact, the movie's main problem isn't the repetition, or even lack of story, it's the lack of any kind logic. While it may be truer to life to have all of Graham's rants be disconnected, and his thought processes unfathomable (because; insane) but from a movie point of view, it would have been a lot more satisfying if he had some kind of consistent internal reasoning that we could follow.<br />
<br />
Although the acting is for the most part excellent, that can't save it from the fact that on the story front it's pretty much a mess, which is what about half of the online reviews seem to think. The other half seem to think it's a masterpiece, up there with Psycho and Halloween. I can only imagine these reviewers were blinded by the excellent gore, and the fact that the movie genuinely does look stunning!<br />
<br />
Speaking of the online reviews of this movie, it wasn't until after I'd finished watching and searched for information on the movie, that I found out something not mentioned on the DVD packaging; it turns out that Bereavement is a prequel to 2003's Malevolence (which I haven't seen) strain Martin Bristol as the killer. To be frank, this origin story should have been told in a half hours worth of flashbacks in that movie, because there isn't a feature's worth of story here.<br />
<br />
A triumph of style over substance.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ovAxDoL6Pb8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-43946827472127896302014-10-25T23:59:00.000+01:002014-10-29T20:50:05.232+00:00The Crazies (2010)<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>A FULLER VERSION OF THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT A BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.</b></div>
<b><br /></b><b>Head to <a href="http://horrormovieaweek.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-crazies-2010-wills-review.html" target="_blank">Horror Movie A Week</a> to see what my friend Lisa and I think of the 52 movies we review each and every year.</b><br />
<hr />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Ogden Marsh, "The friendliest place on earth" lays demolished and burning.<br />
Just 2 days ago it was an idealic, quiet, town... But something started infecting the residents, making them irrational and violent.<br />
Before the first shot is even fired, someone is watching the town, someone with the recourses to monitor the town via satellite.<br />
Why has infected the townspeople? Who is watching? And are they there to help, contain, or attack? And how will the handful of unaffected escape the chaos?</blockquote>
<hr />
<a name='more'></a>George A. Romaro produces this remake of his own 1973 movie of the same name, although I haven't seen the original, his thumbprint is certainly on this one.<br />
<br />
Not great, but certainly good enough to be worth watching.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://horrormovieaweek.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-crazies-2010-wills-review.html" target="_blank">FULLER REVIEW HERE</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/J7w9uWFIMBs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br />If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-70500760978178125322014-10-24T23:03:00.000+01:002014-10-24T23:10:03.874+01:00Silent Night, Bloody Night. (1974)Aka: Night of the Dark Full Moon, Death House<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>In 1950, William Butler ran from his house on fire, apparently self inflicted (possibly by accident). He leaves his house to his Grandson, Jeffery, on condition that the house be left exactly as it is "As a monument to inhumanity".</i><br />
<i>Over the years the house lay empty, and developed a reputation for being haunted.</i><br />
<i>Eventually in 1972, Just ahead of coming back to the small town himself, Jeffery sends a lawyer to visit the towns elders, who have wanted to buy the house for some time. At last Jeffery is willing to sell - for a fraction of the market value - provided that can pay, in cash, by noon the next day... And suddenly a killer is on the lose.</i><br />
<i>Is Jeffery the killer? Has William returned from the grave? Why is the killer, clearly a man, calling himself 'Marianne'? And what other secrets does the house hold?</i></blockquote>
<hr />
<a name='more'></a>A bit of a proto-slasher this one, and one of the first Holiday Horrors, predating even Black Christmas (Both were released in 1974, but this one had been shelved following completion for 2 years already by then). For all that it must surely have gone on to influence movies that followed, it's own influences are clear too; Twitch of the Death Nerve (1971) can be seen all over it.<br />
<br />
Despite the title, Christmas doesn't cast much of a showdown over the film; it's mentioned in passing that it was the 24th of December when William burned to death, but aside from the constant use of 'silent night' on the film's score, there's really no connection to the holiday.<br />
<br />
The acting is solid throughout, as one would expect from a cast that features Patrick O'Neal, John Carradine, and a handful of Warhol alumni. The biggest surprise from a credits point of view is co-producer, none other that "Uncle Lloyd" Kaufman, in his prey Tromaville days!<br />
<br />
The primary mystery is a fun one, although predictable, but the full backstory as to the whys comes way out of left field and is explained entirely in exposition, in a way that only films of this era seem to be able to get away with.<br />
<br />
Most releases of this film (including the one I watched) are from a grainy public domain print, which many would claim is in need of a restoration. I, however, found that the grain and occasional negative damage added to its gritty feel... Some movies were never meant to be pristine, and this is one of them!<br />
<br />
If I ever win the lottery, and buy that revival cinema I've always promised myself, Silent Night, Bloody Night is going on a double bill one night with Don't Look In The Basement.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/OOXx7Q0UfH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-6266016797888076442014-10-23T15:31:00.000+01:002014-10-23T15:33:03.052+01:00247°F (2011)4 freinds, go to stay in a luxury cabin, owned and built by one of their uncles.<br />
Before heading to a nearby festive, the decide to use the cabin's sauna, but the door jams, and the controls are on the outside. With the uncle out for the night, water running low, and the temperature rising, it's up to the group to find a way to survive.<br />
<br />
Back in <a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Shocktober%202010" target="_blank">Shocktober 2010</a> (wow, my reviews were short then!) I reviewed "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/frozen.html" target="_blank">Frozen</a>" comparing it to Adrift, with a ski lift instead of water, so it seems odd that my first thought on this movie was "so, they've made 'Frozen' with heat instead of cold!", but, that really does seem to be the formula here.<br />
<br />
What the movie gets right, is having an array of things the group can try, compared to Frozen's two options of 'wait' or 'jump'. This is exploited to the fullest by having someone intelligent in the mix - the main guy weighs up the pros and cons of every plan the group can think of.<br />
<br />
Frankly, the lack of characterisation killed this one for me; in a movie spent mostly in one place, with a small group of people, those people are everything... Here, I just didn't feel their plight.<br />
<br />
FULL REVIEW EXCLUSIVELY ON THE CINEPHILAICS <a href="http://thecinephiliacs.wordpress.com/2014/10/23/247f-2011-review/" target="_blank">HERE</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/HHAbGYf5n9Q?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-447507252297041921.post-34643566823586193392014-10-22T21:42:00.000+01:002014-10-22T21:42:37.621+01:00Stitches (2009)aka, Sutures<br />
<hr />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A group of freinds, most of them medical students, head out to a rented house in the middle of nowhere on vacation, Where they are hunted down by a mysterious man.<br />
They wake up in an underground bunker, which is being used as an illegal medical school,, where kidnap victims are given diseases or injuries, and the students of the underground school are tasked with stabilising them. Succeed or fail, once the victims are finished with, they are harvested for organs.</blockquote>
<hr />
<a name='more'></a>I'm going to start with the positives again today.<br /><br />Stitches is a well made movie. It looks great, the lighting and cinematography successfully captures the relaxed atmosphere of the vacation, the claustrophobia and urgency of the situation in the underground medical school, and the familiar feel of the real hospital the movie opens in. The sound is clear, and the score effective, and the acting is solid.<br /><br />Sadly, the story, and storytelling, let's it down.<br /><br />The movie, as I mention, starts in a conventional hospital, where Final Girl is relating the story, in flashback, to a detective. To make matters worse, her flashback isn't even linear; she keeps jumping further back during the 'vacation' segment of her story, to describe how she and her friends met. Not only do I not care how they met, I suspect the detective doesn't care either; and even if we did care, there's no reason for the weaving the two stories together.<br /><br />Once things start to go wrong, the multiple story streams don't stop; we have to contend with the stalker / kidnapper, who has his own motives, and the businessman who runs the underground training centre/organ farm.<br /><br />Logical problems are abound too; Final Girl manages to flash-back to events she wasn't present for, and there are a lot of inconsistencies in the bad guys' behaviours. Stalker guy, for instance, has very specific, research based, reasons he wishes to kidnap people to the facility; which completely fails to tell us why he captures, tortures, and kills, a gas-station attendant.<br /><br />To top it all off, the movie climaxes in a chain of twists, none of which add anything to the story, or have any effect on our opinions of what we have seen; theatre less twists, and more needless surprises, thrown in by a writer who doesn't really understand how a revelation works.<br /><br />For all the problems though, it isn't a terrible movie; it's better parts are reminiscent of the parts of Hostel that work, and it does look great... As with many of the movies I've watched this month, it's more satisfying than actually bad. That said, unless you're going to watch a movie every single day (and probably even if you are) there's a whole bunch of better movies you could watch before having to get around to this one.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vy128Dsh24M?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<hr />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Disclaimer:</b><br /> If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "<a href="http://shocktoberfest.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Bought%20From%20Poundland" target="_blank">Bought from Poundland</a>" as a tag since at least 2011.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.<br /><br />In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.<br /><br />I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or management.</span></div>
Will "Pyro" Tinglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05214345327648994392noreply@blogger.com3