A new disease, Onset Rigours Disease, is spreading across England. Seemingly affecting only males, in its early stages joints begin to stiffen; as the disease progresses confusion sets in, followed by facial lesions and a total loss of personality, joins by violent outbursts. Unsurprisingly the disease becomes knows as "Zombification", and groups of vigilantes form to protect their communities from the threat, or perceived threat, these "zombies" offer.
The documentary style movie follows Harold Gimble, the first (and slowest progressing) sufferer of ORD, and Penny, a nurse sent to help him as his joints stiffen, and he faces a decline into a state many feel may be worse than death.
One man, vainly assuming you give a rat's ass about his obsession with reviewing Horror movies every October...
Showing posts with label British. Show all posts
Showing posts with label British. Show all posts
Saturday, 1 October 2016
Harold's Going Stiff (2011)
Sunday, 19 October 2014
Elfie Hopkins (2012)
Aka: (spoiler in alternate title, Highlight to read) Elfie Hopkins: Cannibal Hunter
Elfi Hopkins is a 22 year old slacker and animal lover, who lives in a dull little village where the only thing people to do to pass the time is hunt.
Not one for the hunting, Elfi, With her best (and only) friend, Dillon, occupies her self with the 'detective' games she's played since she was little.
When big city family, The Gammons, move to the village, they soon have the other villagers abuzz with tails of bespoke holiday packages (the Gammons's line of work), and before long the residents of the sleepy hamlet dashing off to the four corners of the globe.
Or do they? Elfi Hopkins is on the case...
Sunday, 12 October 2014
Theatre of Fear (2014)
Aka The Midnight Horror Show.
Meet ringmaster Dr. Deimos Moreau, his daughter Venus, and his sons Apollo, Janus, and Trinculo, a traveling family who tour thier underground adult cabaret act, The Midnight Horror Show, around Britain.
Venus and Apollo can't stop bickering. Trinculo, who wears his clown make-up per entangle to hide his scars, is desperately trying to start a relationship with a girl he's just met. Janus, who is either unbalanced or his ventriloquist dummy really does talk to him, has secretly signed with a talent agent and is looking to break out of the family business and make it big. To make matters worse, the rich father of one of the families previous victims has sent a detective/hitman to track them down and kill them slowly.
Thursday, 24 October 2013
Darklands (1998)
A reporter looks into a series of animal sacrifices in Wales, and is also asked to look into the death of a man in the steelworks.
He begins to suspect the two cases are related, and us drawn into a world of nationalism and religious cults.
Sunday, 28 October 2012
The Woman in Black
4 years after his wife died during childbirth, struggling lawyer Arthur Kips (Daniel Radcliffe) is sent to a small remote town to obtain the paperwork that his company may settle an estate by selling a large manor house.
Upon arrival, the locals are obviously not keen to have Arthur around but, despite every on stick the townsfolk throw at him, Arthur is determined to do his job in time for his son and his nanny to join him for a break in the country.
Upon arrival at the Manor, it is clear that something is amiss, and it becomes quickly apparent that the house is haunted...
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
Inbred
4 troubled teen on probation are taken on a team building weekend to a remote village, where it's clear the locals aren't used to outsiders.
A relatively minor incident with a few local youths soon escalates into a nightmare.
Friday, 19 October 2012
The Descent: Part 2 (aka "The De2cent")
Note: For the first time this year, I'm going to give a very quick one-line review BEFORE the synopsis; this is because the synopsis has big spoilers for the excellent 1st movie.
One line review: Enjoyable enough, but lacking all the elements that made the first film excellent, The Descent 2 feels like less of a sequel, and more like a Platinum Dunes remake of the first one.
SPOILERS FOR "THE DESCENT" (But not "The Descent: part 2") FOLLOW:
One line review: Enjoyable enough, but lacking all the elements that made the first film excellent, The Descent 2 feels like less of a sequel, and more like a Platinum Dunes remake of the first one.
SPOILERS FOR "THE DESCENT" (But not "The Descent: part 2") FOLLOW:
Thursday, 18 October 2012
The Descent.
Partial synopsis (seriously, don't read a full synopsis until you have seen the movie: don't even read the back of the damn DVD case):
Six women go on a caving holiday, and things go wrong. Hundreds of feet underground, with no hope of rescue, it is up to them to try to save themselves and find their own way back to the surface.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Attack the Block
When a gang of hoodies are interrupted mid-mugging by an unknown animal falling from the sky, they respond by beating it to death.
Then the alien hordes arrive, and two things quickly become obvious: beating up random animals is a dick move; and that a south London council estate is not the best place to start an invasion!
Thursday, 11 October 2012
The Revenge of Billy the Kid
The McDonald's, Ma and Pa (Gretta and Giles) and their three adult children (Sons Ronald and Ronald, and daughter, Ronald "Ronnie") are the sole inhabitants of a farm island just off the coast of England.
When the family goat starts waning on her milk production, Giles is instructed to take her to the mainland and get her 'a good seeing to' - drunk (as always) on his home made scrumpy, he takes a shine to the goat, and saves them both a boat ride...
When the mutant goat baby is born, Ronald (the girl Ronald - do
Keep up) stops her father from killing him, and names him Billy.
When Pa has finally had enough of Billy's antics, he drowns him in a sack in the lake.
But Billy didn't die...
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Kill Kieth
The Male co-presenter of popular Breakfast TV show "The Crack of Dawn" is leaving, with his replacement set to take over from him during the special Halloween show... and a serial killer (Dubbed "The Breakfast-Serial Killer") is killing off Z-List celebrities, all of whom just happen to have been short-listed as possible new hosts.
The List includes Joe Pasquale, the titicular Keith (Chegwin) and Rustle Grant (all playing themselves) and Tony Blackburn (played, without explanation, by a 20 something from Hollyoaks)
I swear I am not fucking making this up!
Friday, 7 October 2011
Colin
Filmed on a camcorder, and with a reported budget of £45, It's hard to rag on what is essentially an amateur project that managed to get a commercial release. It's kind of like seeing that a 3 year old has written a four page story in complete sentences, then busting their chops for sloppy handwriting!
That said, there is no excuse for this amount of shaky-cam, especially when the movie is not of the found footage or mockumentary type... even consumer cameras have a decent anti-shake these days!
That said, there is no excuse for this amount of shaky-cam, especially when the movie is not of the found footage or mockumentary type... even consumer cameras have a decent anti-shake these days!
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