Manborg (2011)

Years after the last battle of the Hell Wars, in which the armies of earth fell against the nazi-cyborg-demon armies of Hell, a fallen human soldier wakes as a cyborg. 
Captured by the demons, he and the gang of resistance fighters he is imprisoned with may together be one last hope for humanity... if they can survive futuristic gladiatorial combat in the arena know as The Terrorocticon. 

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Shadow: Dead Riot (2006)

Sentenced to death by lethal injection, serial killer and rapist Shadow (Horror icon Tony "Candyman" Todd) prepares himself by sharpening his teeth, and carving arcane symbols into his body. During his execution there is a riot, and the bodies of all the inmates killed that day are thrown into a mass grave on the prison grounds.

20 years later the prison is now a private one used to house female inmates, and run a shady research program.

Shortly after the arrival of tough new inmate Solitaire, blood is accidentally spilled on the mass grave... and Shadow's curse is finally complete.

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Prologue aside, the movie's first act is every inch the women's-prison exploitation movie, complete with an unnecessary and gratuitous group-shower scene, cat-fights, a (male) prison doctor who obtains drugs for the inmates in exchange for 'favours', and a (female) guard who coerces prisoners into sexual relations in exchange for protection - something which the governess apparently knows about and is disapproving of... but not disapproving enough to start disciplinary procedures of any kind.

I saw quite enough women-in-prison movies when I was watching the Video Nasties list, and I'm not a fan; coupled with the lousy production, lazy writing, and sub-par acting, I was more than ready to hate this movie.

But at around the half way point, something changes; when the ridiculously bad mutant-baby, and army of zombies shows up, and the details of the research program become clear, things go so batshit crazy that the shoddy production (right down to Tony Todd's laughable dreadlocks), Halloween-outfit grade costumes, and film-school special effect become part of the fun.

By the final act, when the film finally becomes the over-the-top kung-fu women vs zombies movie you never knew you needed, my disdain had completely dissipated.

Yes, it's badly made, terribly scripted, and just out right stupid; but if you can ride out the uncomfortable exploitation of the first half hour or so, and look past the over-lit and over-saturated look captured so poorly on consumer grade digital video, it becomes just the right kind of batshit crazy shitty-movie... and you'll have a riot.

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Disclaimer:
If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "Bought from Poundland" as a tag since at least 2011.

In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.

In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.

I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:

All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.

In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or  management.

Savage (2009)

A forest fire is raging in Bear Valley national park, driving animals out of the depths of the forest. Including a beast most think to be a legend.

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2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

A group of students studying at sea for a semester end up stranded on a sinking island when their boat is attacked by a giant 2-headed shark.

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The Bagman (2002)

Not to be confused with, The Bag Man (2014),or  Bagman: The Movie (year unknown)

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5 years after Jack Marshall's house burned down, killing both his parents and disfiguring Jack, he is chased into the woods by classmates bulling him, one of the bullies gets carried away, and kills Jack.
10 years later, the friends have a get together... And one by one they start disappearing.

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Frankenfish (2004)

A biologist is sent to investigate the death of a fisherman in the swamps of Louisiana; it soon transpired that the cause of death was attack from a hitherto unknown species of fish.
After meeting with the fisherman's wife, they find themselves hauled up in a local resident's house boat, while the fish is on the attack...

Based (loosely) on a real event.

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Street Trash (1988)

THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT THE BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to HorrorMovieAWeek.co.uk to see what my freind Lisa thinks about this film, and the rest of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

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When a liquor store owner finds a crate of an unknown drink, Viper, in a hidden compartment in his cellar, he decides to sell it at $1 a bottle to the local homeless population.
One problem... Anyone who drinks the Viper, melts into neon coloured slime. 

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Night of the Lepus (1972)

THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT THE BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to HorrorMovieAWeek.co.uk to see what my freind Lisa thinks about this film, and the rest of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

WARNING:
Although this movie has been tagged as "Recommended" I am not claiming it is a "good" film. It is not. 

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A cattle farmer in the American South West calls in experimental biologists to help rid him of his rabbit-infestation, a rabbit injected win an experimental serum is inadvertently released into the wild, the infestation of rabbits rapidly becomes an infestation of giant, killer rabbits.
It's up to the farmer, and the scientists who created the monsters, to find a way to stop them before they reach a nearby town and destroy it.

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Inbred

4 troubled teen on probation are taken on a team building weekend to a remote village, where it's clear the locals aren't used to outsiders.
A relatively minor incident with a few local youths soon escalates into a nightmare.

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One Eyed Monster

The opening of the movie tell us that:

"In February 2007, ten people went to the remote mountains of Northern California to shoot an adult movie. What happened next was something no one expected, but everyone saw coming."

Which is a coy/funny way of saying

Ron Jeremy (playing himself) gets hit by something from space; at first he seems fine, but then his penis becomes detached, and goes on a killing spree.

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Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

WARNING:
although this movie has been tagged as "Recommended" I am not claiming it is a "good" film. It is not. 
I do, however, strongly suggest you see it, and it is so utterly... mad, that it would be a shame to miss it.

A demoniacally charged bed eats people while the soul of a man watches from his own personal limbo behind a painting in the same basement.
Although it's been years since the bed last ate enough to be satisfied, there is something about one of the three girls who have stepped into it's lair that makes it reticent to make a meal of her.

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Troll 2

Oh my Goooooooooooooooooooooooood.

That was appalling!

To be fair, I watched this movie in completely the wrong way: Sober and alone. This is a film that requires friends and booze!