Piranha 3D (AKA "Piranha") (2010)

Just in time for spring break, an under water earthquake connects a popular lake to an underground body of water filled with prehistoric flesh eating piranhas, releasing them to gnaw a bloody swathe through the hordes of reveling college kids.

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Shadow: Dead Riot (2006)

Sentenced to death by lethal injection, serial killer and rapist Shadow (Horror icon Tony "Candyman" Todd) prepares himself by sharpening his teeth, and carving arcane symbols into his body. During his execution there is a riot, and the bodies of all the inmates killed that day are thrown into a mass grave on the prison grounds.

20 years later the prison is now a private one used to house female inmates, and run a shady research program.

Shortly after the arrival of tough new inmate Solitaire, blood is accidentally spilled on the mass grave... and Shadow's curse is finally complete.

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Prologue aside, the movie's first act is every inch the women's-prison exploitation movie, complete with an unnecessary and gratuitous group-shower scene, cat-fights, a (male) prison doctor who obtains drugs for the inmates in exchange for 'favours', and a (female) guard who coerces prisoners into sexual relations in exchange for protection - something which the governess apparently knows about and is disapproving of... but not disapproving enough to start disciplinary procedures of any kind.

I saw quite enough women-in-prison movies when I was watching the Video Nasties list, and I'm not a fan; coupled with the lousy production, lazy writing, and sub-par acting, I was more than ready to hate this movie.

But at around the half way point, something changes; when the ridiculously bad mutant-baby, and army of zombies shows up, and the details of the research program become clear, things go so batshit crazy that the shoddy production (right down to Tony Todd's laughable dreadlocks), Halloween-outfit grade costumes, and film-school special effect become part of the fun.

By the final act, when the film finally becomes the over-the-top kung-fu women vs zombies movie you never knew you needed, my disdain had completely dissipated.

Yes, it's badly made, terribly scripted, and just out right stupid; but if you can ride out the uncomfortable exploitation of the first half hour or so, and look past the over-lit and over-saturated look captured so poorly on consumer grade digital video, it becomes just the right kind of batshit crazy shitty-movie... and you'll have a riot.

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Disclaimer:
If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "Bought from Poundland" as a tag since at least 2011.

In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.

In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.

I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:

All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.

In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or  management.

Berevement (2010)

Minersville, Pennsylvania, 1989; Martin Bristol, a young boy with Congenital Analgesia (a condition which prevents him feeling pain) is kidnapped from outside his home by psychotic maniac, Graham. For the next 5 years, Martin is forced to help Graham around the house, and watch as he tortures and kills women he kidnaps and brings back to the run-down meat packing plant he calls home.
In 1994, Following the death of her parents, Alison moves in with her overprotective Uncle and his family in Minersville. While out running, she becomes curious when she sees the now 11 year old Martin watching her from the derelict building.

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The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

A silent and unnamed man (Vinnie Jones) is killing people on quiet, late night trains in the New York subway, but with no bodies are turning up, the victims are listed only as "Missing People".
A photographer photographs a woman minutes before her disappearance, and his investigation leads him to the killer.
Unable to convince the police, he becomes obsessed with the man, and is determined to find proof.

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Street Trash (1988)

THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT THE BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to HorrorMovieAWeek.co.uk to see what my freind Lisa thinks about this film, and the rest of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

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When a liquor store owner finds a crate of an unknown drink, Viper, in a hidden compartment in his cellar, he decides to sell it at $1 a bottle to the local homeless population.
One problem... Anyone who drinks the Viper, melts into neon coloured slime. 

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The Collector (2009)

Arkin in an ex-con turned handyman, working at the home of a jeweler, Larry Wharton, who owns a massive ruby.
When his girlfriend and wife are in danger from loan sharks,  He makes a deal with an acquaintance he made in jail to steal the ruby to raise the money to pay the loan.
When Arkin arrives in the family home he is not the only intruder - The house has been rigged with lethal boobie traps, and the Whartons are already being tortured by serial killer The Collector.

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Dead Snow

A group of friends head off to a cabin in the Swiss alps to spend the weekend skiing. When they discover a box of stolen war era gold, they unwittingly awaken a Nazi Zombie army.

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Inbred

4 troubled teen on probation are taken on a team building weekend to a remote village, where it's clear the locals aren't used to outsiders.
A relatively minor incident with a few local youths soon escalates into a nightmare.

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Kill Kieth

The Male co-presenter of popular Breakfast TV show "The Crack of Dawn" is leaving, with his replacement set to take over from him during the special Halloween show... and a serial killer (Dubbed "The Breakfast-Serial Killer") is killing off Z-List celebrities, all of whom just happen to have been short-listed as possible new hosts.
The List includes Joe Pasquale, the titicular Keith (Chegwin) and  Rustle Grant (all playing themselves) and Tony Blackburn (played, without explanation, by a 20 something from Hollyoaks)
I swear I am not fucking making this up!

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A Cat In The Brain (external review)

My "Cat In The Brain" review over at VideoNastyAWeek, can be found HERE (no, the film wasnt on the Nasties list, that's explained over there too)

Braindead (AKA Dead Alive)

In 2009, I didn't review movies, so much as briefly recomend a few via my Facebook account, This was one of them...

Most of you have probably seen this - but for 3 quid it's well worth sticking an an amazon order with something else.