Monster (2008)

In 2003 Tokyo suffered an earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale, killing more than 7,000 people. The incident was captured on film by two American film makers.But it wasn't an earquake...

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I won't have much to say about this Cloverfield cash-in from mockbuster merchants The Asylum... Because not a lot happens.

Filmed on handheld cameras (the dvd cover, by the way, makes the direct claim that the footage is real) which conveniently cut out just as anything might happen, the movie is sub-par even for The Asylum, and even for a low budget Found Footage Movie. At one bit, it seems that they forgot to shoot a scene in the dark using the camera's built in light, so they've added an obviously fake vignette to the image, which looks nothing like the footage which was actually filmed using said light.

We see the two sisters getting ready for their Tokyo trip, where they plan to make a documentary about the different ways America and Japan are handling global warming.

Shortly after arrival their first interview is interrupted by an earthquake forcing them to flee to the basement, and later onto the streets, for some reason. Each earthquake is accompanied by a strange roaring sound.

Our herons make a pact to keep filming whatever happens (thus navigating the old found footage problem of "why are they still filming???"), and then run around Tokyo announcing that they are American and do not speak Japanese, and asking where the American Embassy is while the local shouts a Japanese word repeatedly (I can't remember the word, but it's the name of the monster). This happens on a loop until we get our one and only glimpse of the creature and the film ends.

Skip the film and simply watch the trailer, it contains everything important from the movie, and a better shot of the monster than the one that made the final cut.

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Disclaimer:
If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "Bought from Poundland" as a tag since at least 2011.

At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.

In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.

In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.

I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:

All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.

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