A VERSION OF THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT THE BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.
When Devon (Snoop Dogg) accidentally shoots his kid sister during a gang fight, he makes a deal with the devil, His sister can return, but he must become a Hound of Hell; A gatekeeper of the underworld, who tells stories and collects souls.
In this Urban pistache of "Tales From The Crypt", We are lead through 3 short stories: A street artist given the power to kill through Graffiti, A wealthy redneck who abuses his power when he inherits the house his daddy's old platoon live in, and a rapper whose meteoric raise to fame may have been more than just good luck...
This movie was scheduled over on HMAW, Because we're currently spending 11 months a year watching the "best" horror movies, and I thought it would be fun to spend october watching the worst... Its 3.9/10 on IMDB, along with its 11% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and, let's be honest - its title, lead me to believe that this would be a good candidate. I Have to say though; after watching it I don't understand how it draws so much hate... I actually enjoyed really enjoyed it.
Reviewing short stories is always a problem, as only the beginning of them is 'safe' to discuss - the spoilers come in thick and fast, as each story only has about 15-20 mins to be told. Incidentally, I always find 3 to be the perfect number of tales for an anthology - any more and things start to feel rushed, as with V/H/S.
Although variable in quality, the segments were no better or worse than real Tales From The Crypt segments... in fact, any one of the stories would have been right at home with the Crypt Keeper offering the wraparound. Instead, the Wraparound is a neat mixture of live action and some (very cool) animation in a faux comic book style, Which sees Devon first make the deal in the synopsis, then go on to tell us the tales, harvesting a soul at the end of each one, before delivering them to hell.
In "Crossed out", a female Street artist runs into trouble when a gang object to her name "Posie" being plastered in "their" hood. After escaping the gang, she is kidnapped by a Hound of Hell posing as a homeless man (Danny Trejo). The man ties her down, tattoos her arm, and lets her go. Shortly afterwards she learns of her new power; if she crosses out someone's tag... they die. Little does Posie realise she is being tested... how will she use her new found skill, and her existing artistic one?
Personally, I feel that Posie was judged a little too harshly; but then, in a "deal with the devil" story, that's par the course, besides, in the time allotted, we couldn't really be shown the full extent of her use of her powers. over all it was a strong segment.
"The Scumlord", is the weakest of the three stories, and tells of a Tex Woods Jr, a racist redneck, who kills his father to get his inheritance. Unfortunately for him, His father has left an unusual clause in his will; It seems that his father paid for the home and upkeep of his old vietnam platoon - four (now aging) african americans, (including Ghostbusters' Winston, Ernie Hudson) In order to receive his inheritance, he must live with them for a year, in the hope that he will learn tolerance, honour and respect. Sadly, Neither Tex, nor his Paris-Hilton-Esque wife, are interested in bettering themselves, and instead systematically abuse the men... until they decide to take their revenge.
As I say, this is the weakest segment, relying on cartoon villainy, and a revenge that seems too over the top for the rest of the movie. Not terrible, but not as good as either of the other segments. It's also the only segment in which there is no direct intervention form a Hound of Hell... the lawyer who read the will had the HoH tattoo on his neck that marks the Hounds, but we're given no reason to believe that the will wan't written by Tex Snr, and as such, the lawyer could easily have been just a human lawyer.
Finally, "Rhapsody Askew" is about a Rapper, SOD, who prays to god for fame and fortune, promising to become a better person in exchange, moments later his prayers are answered when he runs into a fellow MC, Quon, and they immediately hit the big time. Skip forward a few years and SOD, now a solo artist, dedicates an award to the memory of his fallen partner, and all is going well... until a female Hound shows up in the greenroom, and assesses SODs life since the promise to become a good person.
The segments are in exactly the right order: A good segment to get you hooked, the least-good one buried in the middle, and the best one at the end to leave you on a high. The wraparound serves it purpose well, tying the stories together and providing some dark comic relief, and the Animated scenes are amazing.
Finally, Snoop closes with a rap, which retells the stories, and lifts it's chorus from Whodini's "Haunted House of Rock" - "Welcome to the place where all the creatures meet / The last building on the left on dead-end street"
I know I've mentioned it a few times, but if you enjoyed the Tales From The Crypt TV series, you should enjoy this.
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