Tuesday 15 October 2013

Warwolves (2009)

After being cornered and attacked by a 'dog man' while on manoeuvres in the Middle East, a squad of 3 men and women of the Army started experiencing changes; Heightened senses, increase strength and agility... And blood lust.
One of the men kills himself, while another, Jake Gabriel, gives himself a change of name, and starts a new life as a mini-mart worker, suppressing the changes, and the memory, with a cocktail of drink and drugs.
Unfortunately for Jake, the rest if his pack aren't ready to give up on him. 


First of all, if you are a werewolf on the run, do not change your name to Lawrence Talbot. It's not clever, and in the real world, it would probably make you easy to find. 

Secondly, if you are writing a low-budget SyFy original about wear wolves, do not invoke the name Lawrence Talbot. It is not wise to remind your viewers of a better movie. 


Starting with a suicide (dramatic opening to hook in the viewers) we flash back to a generic middle eastern country, where our squad of 6 are hanging out, under the observation of 'a fed' atop a hill. Before long we see them go into action (fun fact: female soldiers have the figures of strippers, and go into armed combat in full glamour makeup) - we hear the locals shouting something which one of the squad translates as "dog man" and the shooting stops... They are attacked by a man with white contact lenses, and we flash forward 9 months to the aforementioned not-Talbot. 

Ensconced in his new life, a kindly (but batshit crazy) older lady, Grace (Adrienne Barbeau - Ruthie, Carnivàle) has taken 'Larry' under her wing and, noticing his problem, makes him attend AA meetings.

It's nice to finally see Alcoholics Anonymous painted at a religious organisation (it is) and also a faintly abusive one (it is) when Lawrence is given a card with 'powerless' written on it to remind him of his meetings. 

The AA group themselves, by the way, are the best things in the movie - they should have been the focus of the attention, as they are actual characters. Alas, most of the movie will be spent with the three female members of the squad / pack, as they wander aimlessly around, getting into exactly one scrape, before eventually finding Lawrence / Jake. 

Looking for the wolves (and first to find Larry / Jake) are a couple of old washed out sergeants. I'm guessing that one of them was 'the fed' from the opening, but in any case, one of them is played by John Saxon (Cannibal Apocalypse, A Nightmare On Elm Street).  These guys are here to 'help' the wolves, but it's implied that they do so by killing them... Possibly? It's a bit unclear. 

For most of the film, the wolf makeup consists of pointy teeth and not a lot else; but later in the movie, when the transformation is complete, they look like flesh coloured Na'vi, not wolves. 

As you may have gathered, the whole thing is a dull mess. I think I've actually made it sound better than it is...

1 comment:

  1. Lol, I love your first 2 labels. Needless to say I won't be rushing to view that.

    ReplyDelete