Scared Shrekless (2010)

Fed up with the Ogres never being scared of anything, the rest of the Far Far Away gang challenge Shrek to a scary-story contest, with the last to flee in terror being crowned The King Of Halloween.

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Crocodile (2000)

8 teenagers take a spring break boat trip, where the local legend of “Flat Dog”, a giant crocodile who supposedly once lived in the areas’ lakes and swamps, may not be as mythical as people assume. Messing with the large eggs the group find, turns out to be a really bad idea…

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Berevement (2010)

Minersville, Pennsylvania, 1989; Martin Bristol, a young boy with Congenital Analgesia (a condition which prevents him feeling pain) is kidnapped from outside his home by psychotic maniac, Graham. For the next 5 years, Martin is forced to help Graham around the house, and watch as he tortures and kills women he kidnaps and brings back to the run-down meat packing plant he calls home.
In 1994, Following the death of her parents, Alison moves in with her overprotective Uncle and his family in Minersville. While out running, she becomes curious when she sees the now 11 year old Martin watching her from the derelict building.

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The Crazies (2010)

A FULLER VERSION OF THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT A BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to Horror Movie A Week to see what my friend Lisa and I think of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

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Ogden Marsh, "The friendliest place on earth" lays demolished and burning.
Just 2 days ago it was an idealic, quiet, town... But something started infecting the residents, making them irrational and violent.
Before the first shot is even fired, someone is watching the town, someone with the recourses to monitor the town via satellite.
Why has infected the townspeople? Who is watching? And are they there to help, contain, or attack? And how will the handful of unaffected escape the chaos?

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Silent Night, Bloody Night. (1974)

Aka: Night of the Dark Full Moon, Death House

In 1950, William Butler ran from his house on fire, apparently self inflicted (possibly by accident). He leaves his house to his Grandson, Jeffery, on condition that the house be left exactly as it is "As a monument to inhumanity".
Over the years the house lay empty, and developed a reputation for being haunted.
Eventually in 1972, Just ahead of coming back to the small town himself, Jeffery sends a lawyer to visit the towns elders, who have wanted to buy the house for some time. At last Jeffery is willing to sell - for a fraction of the market value - provided that can pay, in cash, by noon the next day... And suddenly a killer is on the lose.
Is Jeffery the killer? Has William returned from the grave? Why is the killer, clearly a man, calling himself 'Marianne'? And what other secrets does the house hold?

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247°F (2011)

4 freinds, go to stay in a luxury cabin, owned and built by one of their uncles.
Before heading to a nearby festive, the decide to use the cabin's sauna, but the door jams, and the controls are on the outside. With the uncle out for the night, water running low, and the temperature rising, it's up to the group to find a way to survive.

Back in Shocktober 2010 (wow, my reviews were short then!) I reviewed "Frozen" comparing it to Adrift, with a ski lift instead of water, so it seems odd that my first thought on this movie was "so, they've made 'Frozen' with heat instead of cold!", but, that really does seem to be the formula here.

What the movie gets right, is having an array of things the group can try, compared to Frozen's two options of 'wait' or 'jump'. This is exploited to the fullest by having someone intelligent in the mix - the main guy weighs up the pros and cons of every plan the group can think of.

Frankly, the lack of characterisation killed this one for me; in a movie spent mostly in one place, with a small group of people, those people are everything... Here, I just didn't feel their plight.

FULL REVIEW EXCLUSIVELY ON THE CINEPHILAICS HERE

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Disclaimer:
If you look through the archives, you'll see that I've been using "Bought from Poundland" as a tag since at least 2011.

At the end of October 2013 I decided that all of my 2014 movies would be purchased from Poundland, and began buying up horror movies, to ensure I would have enough come October 2014.

In March 2014 I took a part time job at Poundland.

In accordance with the companies social media policy, in September 2014 I contacted Poundland's social media team to check that I would be okay to carry on with my plan to use the "bought from Poundland" tag.

I have been given the go-ahead on condition that I make the following clear:

All the reviews on this blog are entirely the opinion of Will Tingle, the reviews are not endorsed by Poundland in any way and (as should be obvious from some of the more scathing ones) are certainly not reviews I have been paid to write.

In short: The views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Poundland or it's owners, shareholders, or  management.

Stitches (2009)

aka, Sutures

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A group of freinds, most of them medical students, head out to a rented house in the middle of nowhere on vacation, Where they are hunted down by a mysterious man.
They wake up in an underground bunker, which is being used as an illegal medical school,, where kidnap victims are given diseases or injuries, and the students of the underground school are tasked with stabilising them. Succeed or fail, once the victims are finished with, they are harvested for organs.

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Savage (2009)

A forest fire is raging in Bear Valley national park, driving animals out of the depths of the forest. Including a beast most think to be a legend.

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Cry_Wolf (2005)

On Owen's first day at his post boarding school, he is immediately accepted by his new room-mate's clique.
When a dead girl shows up in the woods around the school, the group decide it would be funny to convince everyone that a serial killer is on the loose, and so they send an anonymous email about  a made-up serial killer "The Wolf" who, they claim, strikes boarding schools, killing a list of people in a specific order, starting with a townie (someone who doesn't go to the school) and then, come the full moon, different types of student.
Except, since sending the email, the kids start getting stalked by someone matching The Wolf's description... is it one of the group playing a joke? Has whoever killed the girl in the woods hear about the email and not taken to it kindly? or is it something else all together?
All we know for sure, is that next week is Halloween... and a full moon!

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5 Souls (2013)

Sam, a man so deep in depression he opens his day with a one player version of Russian Roulette, is investigating the building collapse which killed his wife and daughter.
After a bad reaction to some vaccinations, Noah falls into a coma. "Waking" he meets fallen angel, Yusef, who gives him a choice; die in the coma, or assist the angel by killing for him, that Yusef can get what he came for... 5 Souls.

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Elfie Hopkins (2012)

Aka:  (spoiler in alternate title, Highlight to read) Elfie Hopkins: Cannibal Hunter

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Elfi Hopkins is a 22 year old slacker and animal lover, who lives in a dull little village where the only thing people to do to pass the time is hunt.
Not one for the hunting, Elfi, With her best (and only) friend, Dillon, occupies her self with the 'detective' games she's played since she was little.
When big city family, The Gammons, move to the village, they soon have the other villagers abuzz with tails of bespoke holiday packages (the Gammons's line of work), and before long the residents of the sleepy hamlet dashing off to the four corners of the globe.
Or do they? Elfi Hopkins is on the case...

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Let The Right One In (2008)

A FULLER VERSION OF THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT A BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to Horror Movie A Week to see what my friend Lisa and I think of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

This isn't my type of movie at all. Although one of its main characters is a vampire, it has very few horror elements; indeed, it could only be called a Horror Film in the very loosest definition of the sense. Mostly, it's a romance; the leads may be 12 years old, but it's clear early on that their relationship is destined to go beyond friendship, into romantic love. And yet, I was blown away by this film.

If you haven't seen this movie, go and watch it. Although the following review qualifies as spoiler-free, I implore you not to watch it. Don't read the DVD case,  don't read anything, just obtain and watch this movie. I went in blind, knowing only that it's a vampire movie, and I strongly recommend that you do the same.

I have friends who read my reviews, but don't actually like horror movies; if you are one of those people don't be put off; go and watch this movie anyway.

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

A group of students studying at sea for a semester end up stranded on a sinking island when their boat is attacked by a giant 2-headed shark.

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Bones (2001)

In 1979 Jimmy Bones was the numbers runner for, and respected protector of, his hood, until he was murdered.
In the 22 years since, the hood has become a ghetto.
A bunch of kids wanting to make good for themselves, and region aye the area, buy a property to convert into a club. Unbeknownst to them, the property is Jimmy's old place, and the stray dog they find in the building and adopt is the key to Bones' return... Those who wronged him in life had better look out, and God help anyone who gets in between Bones and his victims.

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Stuck (2002)

On her way home from a club, care-worker Brandy hits a homeless man who stepped out in front of her car.
Unable to afford a DUI charge, she panics and flees the scene, with the man still stuck in her wind-shield.
After putting the car away in her garage the man, still in place, wakes up.
In too deep to simply call for help, she is left trying to find a way to deal with the injured man.

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Monster (2008)

In 2003 Tokyo suffered an earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale, killing more than 7,000 people. The incident was captured on film by two American film makers.But it wasn't an earquake...

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Theatre of Fear (2014)

Aka The Midnight Horror Show.

Meet ringmaster Dr. Deimos Moreau, his daughter Venus, and his sons Apollo, Janus, and Trinculo, a traveling family who tour thier underground adult cabaret act, The Midnight Horror Show, around Britain.
Venus and Apollo can't stop bickering. Trinculo, who wears his clown make-up per entangle to hide his scars, is desperately trying to start a relationship with a girl he's just met. Janus, who is either unbalanced or his ventriloquist dummy really does talk to him, has secretly signed with a talent agent and is looking to break out of the family business and make it big. To make matters worse, the rich father of one of the families previous victims has sent a detective/hitman to track them down and kill them slowly.

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Rage (2010)

A FULLER VERSION OF THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT A BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to Horror Movie A Week to see what my friend Lisa and I think of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

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While parking his car, Dennis inadvertently cuts up a biker. It proves to be a far bigger mistake than he could have guessed.
Starting with childish baiting, and working his way up, the baker spends the day stalking and terrorising Dennis from behind his tinted visor, taking a simple disagreement way beyond road rage, and turning it into a terrifying ordeal.

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Jackyll + Hyde (2006)

Medical student, Henry "J" Jackyll, believes he can invent a drug to change a parent's personality for the better.
Refused help from his university due to his drug's illegal ingredients, he decides to experiment on himself.
Under the influence of the drug, he becomes violent and predatory.
Soon, he starts to slowly lose control of his life, as he become addicted to the drug, and his alter ego takes over more and more.

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Madison County (2011)

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As part of a college project, James arranges an interview with author David Randle. Randell's book is about Damien Ewell, who the author claims is Americas biggest untraced serial killer, having killed at least 30 people over the last decade.
Along with 4 freinds, James travels to Madison County, Upon arriving at the town the locals, clearly not keen on outsiders, tell them that Damien is fictional, and that David Randle left the area years ago.
Determined not to waste the trip, the teens go searching for Randle, but are picked off one by one, by a man wearing a pig mask.

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A Wrong Way To Die (2012)

Aka: A Hole in the Desert, MoniKa, MoniKa: A Wrong Way To Die

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Reagan Tyler receives a phone-call from his friend JJ, inviting him to meet at a motel in Las Vegas, where JJ has met a girl, and promises to hook Reagan up with the girls friend, who is staying in the room next to their own.
For lack of anything better to do, Reagan flies to Vegas, only to find JJ and his companion not answering their room door, he does however meet the promised friend, Monika ("with a K") who turns out to be the woman of his dreams. They go out, have a great time, and spend the night together.
The following morning, Ragan calls on JJ, and is told why he and his lady friend were unavailable the day before. It turns out that yesterday, before Ragan arrived in town, Monika was murdered...Not a earning a "recommended" but only the 2nd movie so far this year to go in my "keep" pile.

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The Bagman (2002)

Not to be confused with, The Bag Man (2014),or  Bagman: The Movie (year unknown)

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5 years after Jack Marshall's house burned down, killing both his parents and disfiguring Jack, he is chased into the woods by classmates bulling him, one of the bullies gets carried away, and kills Jack.
10 years later, the friends have a get together... And one by one they start disappearing.

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The Bogus Witch Project (2000)

Tonight on TV Chanel "The Woods"; 6 short films, all spoofs of "The Blair Witch Project", separated by commercials.

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Do You Like My Basement? (2012) (aka "The Basement")

Stanley Farmer fancies himself a film-maker, and dreams of making a horror movie about people spending the night in a basement in order to win a cash prize. During the course of the night, the maniac running the competition will subject his 'guests' to torture.
After acquiring a shooting location, Stanly puts out a casting call. Little do the applicants know that Stanly will be making his film the authentic way, and by the time they turn up for audition, they've already been cast...

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Curfew (1989)

A FULLER VERSION OF THIS REVIEW IS ALSO POSTED AT A BLOG I CONTRIBUTE TO YEAR-ROUND.

Head to Horror Movie A Week to see what my friend Lisa and I think of the 52 movies we review each and every year.

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2 brothers on death row escape from prison and decide to punish the men they hold responsible for their sentence.
They quickly dispatch the psychiatrist who testified against them, and the judge who passed down the sentence, but for the District attorney, they have bigger plans.
Stephanie, the DAs daughter, gets home just in time to be embroiled in the brothers' violent revenge.

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The Terror Within (1989)

On post apocalyptic earth, supplies are running low for a group of survivors living deep underground in a military research bunker. Trips to the surface are fraught with danger thanks to "Gargoyles" - monstrous humanoid creatures which now roams the earth.
When the team rescue the sole survivor of a camp of humans who have somehow until recently survived above ground, they unwittingly let a Gargoyle into their bunker.

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The Cave. (2005)

When archeologists discover a complex cave and river system under the ruins of an abbey, a team of underwater caving experts are brought in to explore.
It isn't long before something living in the shadows starts to pick off the team.

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El Chupacabra (2003)

A captured chupacabra destined for a research lab is accidentally released in Los Angeles, and a hired good is sent to recapture it.

Meanwhile, a skeptical animal control officer investigating a series of animal mutilations is approached by an author and cryptozoologist who claims the culprit can only be a chupacabra, and a pair of police detectives investigate a grizzly murder, in which they believe the victim was mutilated by a psychopath with a modified garden rake.

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