The Male co-presenter of popular Breakfast TV show "The Crack of Dawn" is leaving, with his replacement set to take over from him during the special Halloween show... and a serial killer (Dubbed "The Breakfast-Serial Killer") is killing off Z-List celebrities, all of whom just happen to have been short-listed as possible new hosts.
The List includes Joe Pasquale, the titicular Keith (Chegwin) and Rustle Grant (all playing themselves) and Tony Blackburn (played, without explanation, by a 20 something from Hollyoaks)
I swear I am not fucking making this up!
Okay, so, it's clearly a novelty piece, and it was never going to be any good - throw in a rom-com plot about the female host Dawn, and the films hero; a teaboy and runner with dreams of stardom - and matters can only get worse, but it's not without its merits (albeit merits that get overshadowed by some incredibly base humour).
A couple of the deaths are inspired in their lunacy; the first kill is buried to the neck and force fed dry porridge oats and hot milk until he explodes, and there is an amazing plot twist around the half-way point that is genuinely one of the most shocking and unpredictable twists I have ever seen in any movie.
Generally speaking though, it's as bad as you might expect; and it's biggest crime is that it never quite knows how seriously to take itself; mixing some genuine peril and all-too-knowing gags like the aforementioned 24 year old Blackburn, often in the same scene.
I cant help but think it would have been a better film if all of the overtly comic moments (from the one-liners to the silly deaths) had been exorcised completely - If the only humour had come from the insane plot and stunt-casting of real grade Z celebs, but the movie itself had been played utterly straight I honestly think this could have been an amazing movie. Here, Joe Pasquale swearing his head off in a monkey suite only raises a smile - in a movie that had been presented as the next Saw? THAT would have been some funny shit!
As it stands though, It's an interesting curiosity, but a wasted opportunity.
I don't know what to say... What the f*** is this? Some scenes look very dark and then its like it switches to a completely different movie... I can't say I'm dying to watch it.
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