Monster Brawl.

For the first time ever, 8 monsters are brought together to wrestle to the death, and determine the undisputed 'Monster Brawl Heavyweight Champion'.

Wrestling! Monsters! Jimmy 'The Mouth of the South' Heart... As himself!

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As a horror fan who spent his formative years in the early to mid 90's watching WWF (when it was good!) this movie should have been gold - hell; it's exactly the kind of movie my 14 year old self might have even come up with!

And within the movie, we find out that that's pretty much what did happen; in what I'm sure is a surrogate for the movie's writer, there is an interview with the fictional tournament's fictional creator, who basically said 'When I was a kid I was crazy about monsters, and wrestling; this has been my dream ever since'

Unfortunately, no one ever told him that a 'pitch' is not the same thing as a 'script' or even a 'story'.

Because here, we have absolutely NO story.

And I'm not exaggerating, I don't mean that the plot is thin; I mean that the commentators talk for a bit, we are shown a short (1-2 minuet) origin clip for 2 monsters, Jimmy Heart announces the monsters, they go to the ring, they fight until one of them is killed, and then we do it again for the next pair.

Actual, non-movie WWF / WWE wrestling literally has more story that this movie!

To make things worse, there is no audience; just 2 monsters, doing wrestling moves in a ring, until one of them pulls off an (often supernatural) finisher and kills the other  - this is accompanied by some poor (and sparse) commentary, and an occasional inexplicable voice shouting 'OUTSTANDING!' or 'UNSTOPPABLE' like the one you sometimes get in Mortal Combat style video games, and then they leave.

There is an 'event' in the last half hour or so, but it's over so quickly that it can't be called a 'story'... Really the whole thing is so inexplicably poor I cannot imagine how it got to screen without someone noticing.

Oh, and Jimmy Heart seems to have filmed all of his scenes in one day, and never interacts with, or appears in the same shot as the rest of the cast (save for 2 'bikini girls' who likewise only appear in his shots).

A wasted opportunity and an utterly, utterly POINTLESS movie.